I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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