Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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