we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
