You just made me feel so damn special
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
