my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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