Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
