Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
