porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
