Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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