So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize