You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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