Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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