u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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