he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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