I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize