She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
