The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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