you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
