Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
