Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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