Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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