About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
