oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
