remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
