I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
