okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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