I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
