the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
