i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
