The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
