Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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