Dual....:-)
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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