I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
