I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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