last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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