A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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