Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize