4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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