Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
