matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
