Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
