my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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