dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
