Don't you send me to vm
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
