Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
