i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize