I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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