id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
