'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
