He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
