Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
