her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
