you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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