I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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