its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize