Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I intend to get homeless drunk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
