He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
