spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
this just has baby written all over it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
