I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
