i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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