If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
