In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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