Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
