Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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