i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
