I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
