I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
