She said her name was "party"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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