at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
