then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
