Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
