ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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