Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
